Cross Junction

Sometimes, after a long journey, you might find yourself, stuck some where in the middle of the cross junction, where you actually do not know, or rather not so sure, of which direction you should go. In a nut shell, you are stuck. You cannot see what is ahead of you. You are not sure what is the best way for you. Nor are you sure that what are the obstacles ahead. You are just being too afraid to step forward. You are being too ambitious but you are fear, fear of a road that you are now about to take it, alone, all alone. Pretty hard to make any decision, and each decision that you are about to take, is just like an avoidance. An avoidance that you hope you can at least at this juncture of time, you can skip to face the reality. Will you continue to stuck at that junction?

Fear, you are just being too fear to move forward, even a step to try. 

Peace in mind

Life has been so hectic recently. 

It is time to stop my steps and take a look on myself, 

to really appreciate myself 

and to love myself more. 

With this piece of music, 

I take a seat, 

and relax through the night,

seeking for the peace

in my mind. 

I'm coming home

It keeps on calling in my mind, coming home, coming home. Her voice is nice, and it touches my heart, deeply.  And that made me started to think of my family members, one by one. I want to go home, I am coming home, tell the world that I'm coming home. 

Diddy - Dirty Money - Coming Home ft. Skylar Grey

I’m coming home

I’m coming home

Tell the World I’m coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes

I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the World that I’m coming

[Diddy]

Back where I belong, yeah I never felt so strong

(I’m back baby)

I feel like there’s nothing that I can’t try

And if you with me put your hands high

(put your hands high)

If you ever lost a light before, this ones for you

And you, the dreams are for you

I hear “The Tears of a Clown”

I hate that song

I feel like they talking to me when it comes on

Another day another Dawn

Another Keisha, nice to meet ya, get the math I’m gone

What am I ‘posed to do when the club lights come on

Its easy to be Puff, its harder to be Sean

What if the twins ask why I aint marry their mom (why, damn!)

How do I respond?

What if my son stares with a face like my own

And says he wants to be like me when he’s grown

Sh-t! But I aint finished growing

Another night the inevitible prolongs

Another day another Dawn

Just tell Taneka and Taresha I’ll be better in the morn’

Another lie that I carry on

I need to get back to the place I belong

[Dirty Money - Chorus]

I’m coming home

I’m coming home

Tell the World I’m coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes

I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the World that I’m coming

[Diddy - Verse 2]

“A house is Not a Home“, I hate this song

Diddy Coming Home lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/diddy-coming-home-lyrics.html

Is a house really a home when your loved ones are gone

And n-ggas got the nerve to blame you for it

And you know you woulda took the bullet if you saw it

But oyu felt it and still feel it

And money can’t make up for it or conceal it

But you deal with it and you keep ballin’

Pour out some liquor, play ball and we keep ballin’

Baby we’ve been living in sin ’cause we’ve been really in love

But we’ve been living as friends

So you’ve been a guest in your own home

It’s time to make your house your home

Pick up your phone, come on

[Dirty Money - Chorus]

I’m coming home

I’m coming home

Tell the World I’m coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes

I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the World that I’m coming

[Diddy - Verse 3]

“Ain’t No Stopping Us Now“, I love that song

Whenever it comes on it makes me feel strong

I thought I told y’all that we won’t stop

We back cruising through Harlem, Viso blocks

It’s what made me, saved me, drove me crazy

Drove me away than embraced me

Forgave me for all of my shortcomings

Welcome to my homecoming

Yeah it’s been a long time coming

Lot of fights, lot of scars, lot of bottles

Lot of cars, lot of ups, lot of downs

Made it back, lost my dog (I miss you BIG)

And here I stand, a better man! (a better man)

Thank you Lord (Thank you Lord)

[Dirty Money - Chorus]

I’m coming home

I’m coming home

Tell the World I’m coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes

I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the World that I’m coming

And it continues to ring in my mind.

And it continues to ring in my mind, it simply reminds me about how sweet you are. Thanks for sharing it with me.

It's Auburn 

And J.R. 

'Cause I'm all about him, him, him, him, him 

And he's all about me, me, me, me, me 

And we don't give a dang, dang, dang, dang, dang 

About nobody-e-e-e 

'Cause I'm all about him, him, him, him, him 

And he's all about me, me, me, me, me 

And we don't give a dang, dang, dang, dang, dang 

About nobody-e-e-e 

Well, had him shooting for me like a ball team 

Every guy was a knock out, Don King 

But not none of 'em had smarts, that's my thing 

It's not enough to have balls, Spalding, ha 

One day by Starbucks 

I bumped into a guy rocking black Chucks 

He said "Excuse me beautiful," I said, "Aww, shucks" 

And then he asked, "Well, ay, wanna grab lunch?" 

Never ever ever met a guy so fly 

Got me hooked like apple pie, I 

Think I'm falling and I don't know why 

But I won't fight these butterflies 

'Cause I'm all about him, him, him, him, him 

And he's all about me, me, me, me, me 

And we don't give a dang, dang, dang, dang, dang 

About nobody-e-e-e 

'Cause I'm all about him, him, him, him, him 

And he's all about me, me, me, me, me 

And we don't give a dang, dang, dang, dang, dang 

About nobody-e-e-e 

And I swear what we have is just super cool 

The way he's always in my head like a Bluetooth 

I got a text from him, he said come through 

Told me that he wants to kick it, Kung Fu 

Don't do nothing much at all 

Just we and his boys watching football 

He asked for a kiss (Muah) So I gave him two 

He said, "Well, thankyou, baby," I said, "You're welcome, boo" 

Never ever ever met a guy so fly 

Got me hooked like apple pie, I 

Think I'm falling and I don't know why 

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/all-about-him-lyrics-auburn.html ]

But I won't fight these butterflies 

'Cause I'm all about him, him, him, him, him 

And he's all about me, me, me, me, me 

And we don't give a dang, dang, dang, dang, dang 

About nobody-e-e-e 

'Cause I'm all about him, him, him, him, him 

And he's all about me, me, me, me, me 

And we don't give a dang, dang, dang, dang, dang 

About nobody-e-e-e 

No, I don't need no fancy cars 

And I don't need no diamond rings 

My baby is all I need and more 

'Cause I don't need those extra things 

It's not about you (Oh-oh-oh-oh) (It's not about you) 

It's not about them (Oh-oh-oh-oh) (It's not about them) 

It's all about me (Oh-oh-oh-oh) (It's all about me) 

And it's all about him (Oh-oh-oh-oh) (It's all about him) 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 

Said it's all about him, yeah 

'Cause I'm all about him, him, him, him, him 

And he's all about me, me, me, me, me 

And we don't give a dang, dang, dang, dang, dang 

About nobody-e-e-e 

'Cause I'm all about him, him, him, him, him 

And he's all about me, me, me, me, me 

And we don't give a dang, dang, dang, dang, dang 

About nobody-e-e-e 

(Oh-oh-oh-oh) 'Cause I'm all about him 

(Oh-oh-oh-oh) 'Cause I'm all about him 

(Oh-oh-oh-oh) I'm all about him 

(Oh-oh-oh-oh) And we don't give a dang, dang, dang 

(Oh-oh-oh-oh) It's all about you 

(Oh-oh-oh-oh) It's all about you, boy 

(Oh-oh-oh-oh) It's all about you 

(Oh-oh-oh-oh)

 Love you.

Betray

Just always bear in mind, betray is for once and forever. Once you have breached the trust, do not think that you can simply expect the one that you have betrayed to just wipe off the pain and fear you have planted in his soul. 

Don't try your luck to mend something that you have damaged. Don't even think of blaming the one for not being able to forgive you. Pretty obvious that one can't trust you again after much harms that you have made. You can never expect someone to simply forgive you after you have come forth and give him a hard slap on his face. You can never ask the one to act as if there is no past. The dark past is there. Whatever it is, do think of stopping whatever you are doing at the back. The more you do, the more you cracked the damage. 

Let off.

What has gone wrong?

I feel the pain but I never know why. It gets worse and worse and I still do not know the reason. Until I found out that, I have grabbed too tight - subconsciously.

I decided. To let go might be the best way.

Resources: 

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